They say Write about what you know...so...

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Further to my lj entry and poll, I now announce:

Dr Who Exhibition AFP/#afp/friends meet, Saturday 4th July.

The plan is as follows.

Meet outside the Transport Museum in Coventry at 13:30 latest (by the *Wings* sculpture) for the 13:45 entry into the Dr Who Exhibition.
We can spend any amount of time there, but I forsee us getting out in time for those who are interested to tour the actual museum. Lots to see, cars, pedal bikes, motorbikes,tractors, lorries, busses, a 2nd world war display...Princess Diane's Metro...Thrust 2 and Thrust SSC...there's even a Land Speed Record simulator.

From there, we'll discuss which eating venue we'd like to try, and go and feed our faces. Currently Chinefoo seems to be favourite, but this is open for adult discussion on the day.

If any of you should bring How I Broke Bath or Trucking Hell, and want it defacing by a signature then I am happy to do so :)

Right, the nitty gritty. Entry to the Dr Who Exhibition is £8, and it is really advised that you book your tickets in advance online. It is a popular exhibit, and you may not get in if you can't do so...(there's a discount for groups of 11 or more, but honestly I can't afford the 90 quid to block book, so...)

http://www.transport-museum.com/doctorwho/

The Transport Museum is free, and worth every penny. There's a shop, a cafe or two, there are stairs involved, but if you are a tad infirm there are lifts as well.

The Dr Who Exhibition is suitable for kids, although they suggest you bring your own sofa to hide behind.
Photography (in spite of claims to the contrary) is allowed for personal use. Not, and I stress *not* for commercial use. I am taking at least 2 cameras...

If you are planning on coming, please comment here...all comments screened

That's it. I truly hope you can come, I'm looking forward to seeing all my old friends, and some new ones. Help me celebrate turning...strewth, 49...

Right...polltime

I am proposing an AFP/Friends meet, in Coventry at The Transport Museum, to take in the Dr Who exhibition and the Transport Museum. This to be followed by a meal, venue to be decided, but I'm offering as an example Wing Wa Chinese Restaurant.

So, lets get the poll underway.


Poll #1415249 What day?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

What day would you prefer the meet

Meeting at the Museum at

Would you be interested in a meal afterwards?

Cineefoo okay?

Rhubarb is a suitable replacement for Bernard Manning

How many people would be in your group?

Wing Wah opens at 6pm at weekends, is reasonably priced, and has good parking. The food is wonderful, too :)

Depending on how many are going it may be necessary to pre-book tickets, so a fairly quick response would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Some people have asked how the fake tilt/shift pics are done...here's a walkthrough using Photoshop. Wordy, so behind cut...

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Do I, in your opinion, whine and cry about piss-easy shit on the internet every five minutes?

I've been rather taken up with a hobby these last few days...I'm trying to improve, extend and expand my photography skills...
So, over the last week I have been admiring from a distance the hand-carved Swiss cuckoo clock that my boss's boss's boss has sat on his desk. It is truly a thing of beauty...hand carved characters, maiinly mice, articulated and automated, they dance, carry out different jobs, move in random fashions, while a whole carrilon of bells plays tunes, and the obligatory cuckoo jumps out and announces the hour. It may sound tacky, but in fact it is both tasteful, stylish and incredibly well executed, and hand painted and gilded it is genuinely an object to be admired.

So, today I emailed Geoff to ask if I could, over my dinner hour perhaps, set up my camera and get some decent pictures of it...

Except...

Just as I pressed *send* my eye caught this sentence...

*I have long admired your magnificent cock, and would dearly love to get some photographs of it, at your convenience*

Your *cock*

Please God, make that didn't happen!!!

Oh...dear...

Just sent a further email...

*Dear Geoff, please find enclosed the letter l. If you look at my last email you may find a place where that letter belongs, which may cast an entirely different light on our implied social dynamic. Best wishes etc....*

Oh Gods...

willow_the_dog has updated again...
Um...is there anyone here who isn't on Willow's list and needs me to mention the updates, or can I just update and take it as read that it is...erm...read? :)

Due to numerous attempts to sleep being thwarted, it was decided that I'd spend a night chez brother's house, to try and get a night's uninterrrupted shut eye.
As I'd not seem him since Xmas we did wat brothers do, chatted until the small hours (2am) and then I retired to bed. Yay, I could sleep uptil mid day if I so wanted.
Except my fone rang the *emergency* ringtone at 3ish, which meant our emergency service unit was trying to get in touch.
*Could I liase with the other residents please?*
About what?
*Er, the big fire in your block?*

So, I dressed, hurriedly, and drove back here.
The flat is full of smoke.
The animals, thankfully, are okay.
My shed, however, is gutted. Gone. Destroyed.
All my books that I've not got room for,
All my power tools.
All my records.
All my photos from when I was married.
Gone.

Several months ago I booked Monday and Tuesday of next week off as a holiday. A Young Lady of whom I have grown quite fond is coming over at the weekend, and not leaving until Tuesday, and as I've seem remarkably little of her, I booked the time off.

Now...2 1/2 years ago I started on a campaign to get Mr Boss to let me do a full 4 day First Aid course. Today he told me that he has finally succumbed to my pleas. My 4 day course starts...on Monday !!

ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!

We have to do regular *Self assesment* progress reports. You know the kind of thing? *What are your strengths?* *Where do you see yourself in 3 years?* etc...
One question was *Is there anything you would like to talk with me about?* I answered *Yes*
Mr Boss rang me today. *What is it you want to talk to me about?*
"Oh, anything at all. I'm not proud. You know that if you're at a loose end I'm just a phone call away?"
He got cross...apparently I did not take the whole thing seriously.
Although, thinking about it, maybe my reply to *What are your stengths* may not have helped.
"The ability to bend moist cardboard toilet roll tubes WITH JUST MY MIND!!"

"I've a good mind to send this in to HR just as it is" he said.

"Feel free!" I replied, "And just for reference, no you haven't*
He still hasn't worked that one out! My job, so far, is safe :)

This *had* to be captioned

And if you don't get it, put down anything spillable, stop eating, and read this

I worry about them, really I do.

Workmate: What you having for dinner?
Me: Can't be bothered for a long wait, so I'm having mash, beans, eggs and sausages.
Workmate: You can't!!
Me: Why not?
Workmate: You're not allowed to have mash and eggs together.
Me: Whut?
Workmate: You're not allowed to have mash *and* eggs. They're both slimy, and you're not allowed to have two slimey things in one meal!
Me: Help!!!


Workmate: Why do you need money?
Me: I had my cashcard stolen and they took money.
Workmate: That's okay. The bank will repay it.
Me: No...they'll only replace anything that goes missing after you tell them. I didn't find out until after £335 had been nicked. I've lost that.
Workmate: No. They have to replace it. Its the law.
Me: No, they don't. I spent over an hour on the phone with them.
Workmate: You couldn't have done. They have to let youj have the money back. They lied to you, or you didn't ring them.
me: No, seriously! HELP!!

Borrowed from rpdom

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So, where were we?
Oh yes. Yesterday morning, 6am. Payday..have to pay credit card for van hire.
Um...where's my debit card?
*Searches pockets. Searches wallet. Nope. Nope*
*Commences to panic*
Logs on to Barclays account...
Arse!

Apparently, sometime on Sunday, whilst driving up the M1 with random and stuff, I was sumultaneously withdrawing £250 from my current account, from an ATM in Oxford. Then, on Monday, whilst being simultaneously at work, I withdrew another £85, and emptied my account of all but £3.20. I'm guessing that when I dieseled up the Transit in Oxfrod services someone noted the pin, and lifted my card. Bastards.

Luckily I checked first thing on Friday, or they'd have been able to clear my entire wage too...

Fortunately this month and next are *cheap* months, as several "10 times a year" payments don't come out. So I will survive, comfortably. But I hope that whoever nicked the cash buys a packet of peanuts and discovers an alergy that makes their nipples itch for ever and ever!

Barclays, to be fair, have said they can't be responsible for cash lost until notified. The police...gave me a crime number, and a well-deserved lecture on being more careful with my plastic.

Well...at least it is harmless...and after today, I need harmless...

So:-

I've updated Willow's journal, here

My friend and co-writer, Bowen T Hunter has updated his LJ at last. YAY!

In total, as I write this, I have sold a total of 99 units...90 How I Broke Bath, and 9 Trucking Hell.
Now..I have always said that I will call myself an author only after I hae sold 100 books...

And time now...maybe :)